"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
