operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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