When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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