You're completely useless in the revolution.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
