Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
