y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Found your dick twin last night
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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