Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dick very happy bro
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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