oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
