I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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