It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
