we're blogging at a bar
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
