she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
