a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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