I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
