If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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