There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
