Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
