I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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