These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
