white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
