let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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