Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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