I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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