Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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