It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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