We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
