So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
