We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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