I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
