Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
how does that bad decision feel?
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