I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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