she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
