i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
