I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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