i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
