apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
