3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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