Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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