Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize