Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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