Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just pee around me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
