You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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