i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
