we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
