all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I didn't notice because vodka
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
