Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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