He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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