i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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