I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
