wrigley field is MILF paradise
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We are two peas in an std pod
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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