Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
