how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize