Soap is not a condiment
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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