just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize