In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
