why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
