Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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