okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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