wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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